You a CPA?

Do you do other people's taxes for a living? Are you certified? Then yes you're a CPA. I don't know why you're at this blog, but WELCOME! What can you deduct?

• Because if you get audited you will never have to hire a tax lawyer, you are able to deduct: Everything (Everything). Risk free.
  
• At least 20,000 sheets of paper. The ones you use to print everyone's tax returns with. (Supplies)
• Aspirin. One of the work risks is having to deal with all the idiotic riff raff who don't organize their receipts (tell me about it! What assholes). You are then able to deduct aspirin. If you ever get audited, be such a pain in the ass to the IRS agent that he gets a headache. Offer him an aspirin. You'll show them how useful it can be. (Medical)
• The folders you use to organize your receipts. (supplies)
• The folders you use to organize your receipts for the folders you use to organize your receipts. (supplies)
• You receipts. (supplies)
  

You are an accountant for the PUBLIC, just remember that it is your duty to be a jerk to the government for us.